It seems to me that Nigerian Sani Kaita is the latest member of an already crowded group of players I have taken to calling The Nightmare Club.
With Nigeria approaching half time one goal up and more than in control of the match against Greece, Kaita saw fit to pointlessly lash out with his boot studs on an opposing Greek player. The victim of this unprovoked attack naturally made all he could of it and very quickly the referee broke Nigerian hearts with a small piece of card which he brought out of his pocket and showed to Kaita. The colour of the card was red. Greece quickly equalised, and later scored another to record their first ever World Cup Win and to consign Nigeria to an early trip to the airport.
Already a week into this World Cup and the Nightmare Club has a rich membership. While the vuvuzelas and even the ball have emerged as the chief inanimate villains of the show, there are a handful of players who have learnt why this competition so consistently grips the attention of billions. Under the spotlight of the most intense pressure and focus, and with only 90 minutes to shine, every four years a handful of players will fail and so dramatically – and often quite innocently – define their career, their team’s efforts and even their nation’s footballing history.
A professional footballer can only hope for one world cup in his career. Maybe two. Even David Beckham only made it to three with his recent Achilles tendon injury ruling him out of his last chance for World Cup Glory. (In fact David Beckham himself is a Nightmare Club Allumni member.) So when the moment of truth arrives, anything can happen under the intense pressure the World Cup delivers. It is really a spotlight on humanity rather than football. Football is really just the conduit. When the whistle blows we see heroes, we see villains and we see mediocrity...all in High Definition Technicolour Dolby stereo.
Naturally I think we find the failures more compelling. A moment of football brilliance, even genius, is to be celebrated and enjoyed – savoured even. But is this not what these men have trained for all their lives? It is perhaps the failures that evoke the most emotion within us – for there but for the grace of god go we. It validates our own humanity as the crowd screams gasps of shock and the pundits rain down derision.
• Naturally, Rob Green springs to mind as the Chairman of The Nightmare Club – the so-called “Hand of Clod” . With England one goal up and fairly in control of their opening Group match in a group fairly certain to deliver them a top place after three matches, Rob Green decided to make the game – and indeed the group – far more interesting by bundling the ball over his goal line while collecting what was a completely un-challenging save . (A moment perhaps better enjoyed in Lego ) In that moment he gave birth to a hatful of jokes, my favourite being this one.
• Simon Poulson of Denmark quickly joined Green with his own efforts to make own goal history for his nation.
• Then of course there’s Tim Cahill, whose clumsy late tackle against Germany cost him a red card, making a miserable 4-0 thrashing even more miserable by ruling him out of the The Socceroos’ second match
Some might argue that the entire French team have joined the club after their defeat to Mexico.
I’m sure there’s going to be more and more of this, and the Nightmare Club will swell its ranks no end before the final whistle blows and the victor (Germany or Argentina?) raise the Cup. But no one will ever manage hero and villain in the same deed as this man did in 1986 .
UPDATE: After an emotionally exhausting weekend of World Cup Football, we have a flood of applications to join the NIghtmare Club:
- Naturally Nicolas Anelka and his coach Raymond Domenech are straight onto the Club Board now that their President is so offended by their argument, and the subsequent players' strike, the Ministry of Sport is intervening to save further national embarrassment.
- The entire English football squad of course after the performance against Algeria, but Wayne Rooney in particular who took to venting his spleen at the English fans via a conveniently placed TV camera, only to apologise the following day, blaming it on frustration.
- Brazil's Kaka - sent off against the Ivory Coast after melodrama worthy of an Oscar following an innocent collision.
- Harry Kewell - missed the first game, on for 20 minutes in the second...cruelly sent off while conceding an equalising penalty, suspended for the third...will there be a fourth???